“My Connection – Disconnection”
Part 5 of 5.
The Inner Call. ✨
After having spent months writing the final chapter of my Spiritual Journey I’ve been guided to share only the highlights of the story as the details of my own personal experience seeking God are only relevant to me and one must seek its own Truth and find its own Light.
On January 3rd, 2020 blinded by jealousy, anger, insecurities, and lack of self love, I asked the woman whom I often referred to as my Twin Flame, to leave our home and our lives in a cruel retaliation for not having shared the same feelings for me.
In that brief moment of absolute anger I threw away and destroyed what the Ascended Masters had clearly asked me to cherish. I infected my heart with the virus of expectation and my love towards her was no longer pure and unconditional.
When Sara left my whole world collapsed, reopening old wounds that I didn’t even know existed. Wounds that kept on manifesting into my reality as a reflection of my own traumas and fears.
My life until that point had been filled with painful experiences causing me to become an Atheist after losing my Fiancee in a car accident while living in Venezuela. Due to that painful episode I became for many years a non-believer, a man of zero Faith as I refused to believe in the existence of a Supreme Being who would find pleasure in seeing me suffer.
Love has always been my definition of absolute happiness. Finding the love of my life and living happily ever after was my only dream in life. A dream that never seemed to come true and many times I questioned God with tears and bitterness about the purpose of my creation and the reason for my painful existence.
Sometime in March 2020, while submerged in my own Hell, an energy of Love and Light manifested within my heart and I was guided to leave everything to embark on a Spiritual Journey and find the answers that would put an end to my own pain and suffering.
I was guided to walk from Miami to California with no money to find the tallest tree in the world “The Hyperion Tree” and perform a master meditation until attaining the State of Nirvana and becoming one with God.
Without hesitation I began preparing myself for the journey using Jesus Christ as reference for his unconditional love for humanity and absolute Faith in God; and Siddhartha, also known as “Buddha”, a title, which means ‘One who is Awake’. The only person in the history of mankind to have renounced everything including a wife, a son and his rights as a Prince to find the reason for human suffering including Death and Reincarnation.
Me and my little princess and I spent many hours watching movies and documentaries of Jesus and Buddha, she quickly understood the mission and gave me her blessing. Our communication from the beginning of the journey was limited and May 22nd, marked the last day we would ever be allowed to speak to each other again.
Not being able to see or speak to my little princess became the ultimate punishment for wanting to seek God.
The Journey. ✨
Throughout my journey I wore the same pair of jeans and sneakers every single day, I slept on sidewalks, benches, in the woods, parks, beach and cemetery. I ate what people kindly shared with me and a few times I found myself eating out of the trash. One way or another the Universe always provided and not once did I go to sleep feeling hungry.
I crossed paths and met many people, most of them homeless who, unlike me, were not there by choice but because they had been forgotten by Society and the System. I learned from their stories, many of them even more heartbreaking than my own. Despite their situation they were kind and humble and always willing to share everything they had.
Even though many times feeling like not being able to take another step due to bleeding blisters on my feet and intense pain in my back and shoulders as a result of walking several hours a day carrying a backpack that felt heavier by the minute, I never lost my faith or thought about giving up. On the contrary, it was when I was hurting the most that I would wipe off my tears and force myself to walk even faster. I had a meeting with God and I wasn’t going to allow anything to stop me from fulfilling my mission.
Before arriving in New Orleans I spent most of the days by myself, and even though my journey was a very lonely one, it allowed me for the first time in my life to deeply connect with my Inner-Self and be able to explore all aspects of my life. I was able to discover many emotional tumors that were caused during my childhood and that I didn’t even know were there.
I began to understand that everything that had ever happened to me during my adulthood was a result of the traumas that I had been exposed to as a child, creating wounds that were never healed, causing me to experience patterns of pain and suffering over and over again.
It became almost impossible to find memories of me being hugged or kissed. That little kid was craving to be loved but no one seemed to care and no one seemed to listen. Instead my childhood was filled with challenging moments and at home physical punishment was the definition of Love and Education.
The sense of neglect, and abandonment caused by both of my biological parents had clearly left its mark. I experienced hunger at a young age and many times I would go to bed on an empty stomach crying and thinking how cruel and unfair it was for a child to have to go to sleep feeling hungry. That little boy had certainly taken a beating by life itself and that was only the beginning of what would later become a living Hell.
I found myself facing my own Demons and fears, the more I remembered the more painful it became. Being transported back and seeing that defenseless boy being beaten with a hammer for playing with a rubber ball had scarred me for life and made me start seeing that innocent kid with nothing but Love and Compassion.
I later understood that the traumas that were inflicted in me by those who were supposed to protect me had set the grounds for failure and no matter how much I tried to attract happiness into my life nothing ever seemed to work. My heart and soul were broken and only I had the power to put the pieces together and stop the bleeding.
My childhood traumas had caused me to spend my entire life hiding my own insecurities by being arrogant and abusive to others. I spent many years of my life trying to keep an attractive appearance and living a fancy and superficial lifestyle in a desperate effort to draw attention and feel loved.
Sara’s arrival into my life was prophesied by the Ascended Masters during at least three channelings. I was shown that she was “IT”, the one I had been waiting for my entire life. She came as a mirror reflecting back and exposing my weaknesses, insecurities and fears. Feelings that I had unconsciously hidden in a dark room and threw away the key.
By being insecure, possessive and weak, I voluntarily threw away what I was told was meant to be “A Beautiful Love Story”. I was so desperate for love and to be loved that I immediately gave her all my powers by putting my entire happiness in her hands.
She manifested in my life and showed no mercy. By exposing my fears and insecurities she did exactly what she was sent out to do.. to awaken my Demons. My heart was hurting and she came to help me heal. Not by loving me but by rejecting me so that I could learn to love myself. Shortly after having successfully completed her mission she vanished away leaving me in a place of absolute Darkness.
A few times I questioned the Ascended Masters for having told me that she was “The One”. I later understood that she was in fact “The One”, the one who was sent to help me awaken and find the Light”.
One night somewhere west of Mississippi, determined to walk all the way from Alabama to New Orleans, I had one of my deepest moments of self revelation. Many answers came and hit me all at once making me burst out in tears of wisdom and understanding. That night I was able to finally comprehend why everything in my life happened the way it happened. I learned to accept every chapter of my life as part of the experience with the full understanding that I was in absolute control of my emotions and feelings and that I chose if I wanted to remember those experiences as painful or as an opportunity to learn and grow.
With every breath I became stronger, I was beginning to understand that I was my own cause of pain and suffering and that I was only a victim if I wanted to see myself as one.
The next morning after having experienced a night of a lifetime I felt physically and mentally drained and weak from the many days of walking and lack of good sleep. I tried to pull myself together and walked for as long as I could until I literally passed out outside a local store. For the first time in my life my body and mind had officially given up on me.
About 20 minutes after my disconnection from planet Earth, I was brought back by Dawn, the store’s owner who, moved by compassion and a heart of gold, offered me water, food and a place to rest. After almost a month of living the homeless life I had the immense joy and privilege of sleeping on a soft couch, with no mosquitos biting me, no sudden rain in the middle of the night and with plenty of food to eat.
That night after long hours of much needed sleep, I had time to meditate about everything that had happened within the past 24 hours and on how my life had suddenly made a 180 degree turn of self knowledge and understanding. Needless to say from that moment on I was no longer the same.
The following day Dawn offered to drive me to New Orleans and I gratefully accepted as I had decided to stop limiting myself to wanting to get to New Orleans by foot shutting down other possibilities, I had also decided to no longer follow a strict vegan diet and that I was not going to turn down food or money that people kindly offered me. From that day I was going to accept everything that the Universe sent me without self imposed limitations.
New Orleans wasn’t part of the original road map heading to California but for some reason I was drawn to go to NOLA . Having mastered throughout the years the power of self healing I wrote letters to President Trump and Governor of Louisiana offering myself as a volunteer to a Self-Experimentation agreeing to be injected with the Covid-19 virus so that I could prove and show that we all possess the ability to heal ourselves without the use of man-made drugs, vaccines or medications.
My letters were never answered and I decided that before leaving New Orleans I was going to perform a master meditation and energy healing for the whole city at City Park by an 800 year old oak tree that a Buddhist Master had recommended.
As soon as I set foot in City Park I was trapped by its magic and loving energies. I attempted to leave New Orleans on at least three occasions, and everytime City Park would pull me back in stopping me from continuing my journey to CA.
I finally gave in and City Park became my home and final destination. I later understood that I hadn’t come to New Orleans to heal but to be healed by Earth Angels and Mother Earth itself.
The people of NOLA quickly embraced me with their authentic Cajun culture and unique demonstrations of joy and brotherhood. I was moved by the love and kindness displayed towards me by those who without knowing me had quickly adopted me as one of their own. “My Galactic Family” as I call them taught me the true definition of Unity.
The Light. ✨
On Sunday, May 31st. 2020, I was guided to do a special meditation in collaboration with Mother Earth after the night before I had not been able to sleep due to a permanent ringing on the left ear.
Shortly after inducing myself in a deep meditation state my third eye popped open and I was immediately covered by a bright yellow light around the Crown Chakra that caused me to burst out in tears of absolute joy and peace. It was nothing like any previous channelings, this time it was quick, loud, deep and intense. In addition to the downloads of wisdom, knowledge and understanding it was revealed that I had reached my destination and that it was time to return home.
That afternoon I lost 90% of my physical hearing from the left ear which has now been replaced by soft angelic frequencies and melodies making me feel tuned in and one with the Universe.
I understood that I was in fact never alone and that back in Mississippi when my body had shut down and stopped responding, God had sent a whole army of Angels to come lift me up and take over me. It was revealed that I was always protected by God and the entire Universe.
Coincidentally that afternoon was also the day I had publicly announced a Free Give Away Open House offering all of my personal belongings to all of those that needed them. Everything had happened simultaneously on the same day and around the same time.
The understanding was clear, it was only when I gave up everything and stood with nothing but Faith that I was allowed to connect with God’s divine energy. My connection with Source Energy lasted only a few seconds but the knowledge, wisdom and understanding were endless and continued as we speak.
Like everything else in the Universe.., wisdom and knowledge are also infinite and one never stops learning, the full understanding of everything beginning with the full understanding of oneself is based on the level of consciousness attained, and the evolution of the soul.
I learned that absolute happiness was inside of me all along and that tears come from a wounded soul. Crying tears of pain and sorrow wasn’t a reflection of the actual moment but a reflection of many deep open wounds that had originated during my childhood.
At home I experienced physical and mental abuse by my parents who were also victims of other victims and through television I was fed violence and drama disguised as cartoons. While in “School” I was being trained and programmed to be obedient and to never question anything. I was only allowed to learn and believe what they wanted me to and I was never encouraged to find my own truth or seek my own knowledge. Not once did any of my teachers ever show any interest in me as a kid or cared about how I was feeling inside. All that little kid ever wanted was to smile and to be happy but no one ever taught me that true happiness came from within or that I was in full control of my emotions and feelings.
Despite also being responsible for my failure as a human being, the System didn’t care about my broken heart and soul, they had successfully programmed my mind and turned me into a modern slave who would spend his entire life chasing happiness with the false belief that happiness was outside of me.
There was never time to be happy because even at home playing wasn’t allowed. I found ways to hide and do it in silence so that no one would know that I was playing, that I was happy. I was taught to live in fear and subconsciously I became afraid of being happy.
My childhood experiences made me weak, insecure, resentful and bitter and became the foundation of the person I was programmed and manipulated to be. Almost as soon as I became a teenager I was thrown into the real world where survival was the only option, where if one didn’t have money to buy food then one was not allowed to eat. For the next 3 decades of my life I became an obedient worker who worked everyday to survive dreaming of one day being able to buy the beautiful house with a pool that I was programmed to believe would bring me happiness.
My life was a wreck and many times I tried to take my own life as a desperate escape from the pain I was feeling. It came to a point where I had cried so much throughout my entire life and experienced so much pain and suffering that even breathing became unbearable. And there I was, a “walking dead” submerged in the circles of Hell crying and shivering when God touched my heart with love and compassion saying “Get up from your grave and follow me”.
Moved by absolute faith I embarked on a journey that reached its final destination the day I learned to heal my own wounds and detached from everything to give it back to God. It was only when I completely surrendered myself with a clean heart that I was able to reach the Light.
I understood that I was my own powerful being, my own Angel and my own Demon, and that the experiences that had tormented me throughout my life existed only in my head and that the self-induced traumas caused by fears, abuse, negletment and violence had wounded my heart and soul. It wasn’t until I learned to fully forgive and love myself as well as those who had brought me harm that I was able to heal.
I learned that the shortcut to God was through the heart and I had to go deep inside my own self to perform a master surgery to close all my wounds before I could become one with God.
I understood that all of my efforts to find love and happiness had failed because I had spent my entire life seeking to be loved by someone else not knowing that love and happiness was inside of me all along.
I learned that worries and fears were the final manifestation of lack of Faith in God and by doing so I was turning my back on him and voluntarily disconnecting from his divine protection. I learned that by turning off my Light I was choosing to return to live in Darknesses.
To Penelope. ✨
Having spent the past two years of my life seeking forgiveness from those who I‘ve willingly and unwillingly hurt with my words, thoughts or actions, I am now ready to ask the most important person in my life for forgiveness for all the harm that I have caused her by not knowing how to forgive and turn the other cheek.
Moved by feelings of resentment, hate and revenge she involuntarily became a trophy and epicenter of a self destructive battle where she was the only innocent victim. I will teach my princess how to heal her fresh wounds through the Power of Love and Forgiveness so that they don’t later come back to haunt her and make her experience an unnecessary life full of pain and suffering.
To Sarita. ✨
I would tell her that I still remember the day when she called me from L.A saying “I’m Free, I’m Free”; And that I am truly sorry for having taken that freedom away by becoming hostaged in the prison of my fears and insecurities. I regret with my life not having accepted the fact that she didn’t love me and I sincerely apologize for having acted against her Free Will.
I would tell her to never lose Faith in Allah and that there is a reason why her name is mentioned in the Book of Hebrews 11:11 as “The Faith of God’s Princess”.
To Myself. ✨
I am sorry it took me so long to find you little one, I am sorry for having forgotten about you, for not hearing your cries, I am sorry for having abandoned you when you needed me the most and for leaving you in the dark hiding scared in a corner still hugging your rubber ball, still dreaming of one day feeling loved and being happy.
I promise with my life little one that from now on there will be no more tears, no more pain and no more suffering. Instead I offer you absolute LOVE, PEACE & HAPPINESS.
To Humanity. ✨
There are many things I wish I could share with all of you right now but as stated at the beginning of this post, one must seek its own Truth. I don’t intend for anyone to follow my path as each of you must follow your own path and find the switch to our own Light.
All I can share now is what truly matters and I’ve been asked to announce that as prophesied in the Scriptures, God’s Return is imminent. The End of Times is near and sooner than expected. He will come like a thief in the night to judge those who have dishonored His Name or acted against God’s Will.
God is Love and Merciful but we have failed him as a humanity and it will demand answers for our actions. The sound of the 7th Trumpet will mark the end of God’s Grace and the beginning of Judgment. Only those who have obeyed His Commandments and have found God in their Hearts will be allowed into the Kingdom of Heaven.
Be compassionate with those in need, don’t watch them with indifference, their struggle should be your struggle and if you can’t afford to give them anything then give them a smile. A smile is a spark of Light from the center of the Soul and an expression of Love within the Heart.
Smile, shine your Light and always be grateful for what God has blessed you with but most of all never lose your Faith in your Creator.
GOD LIVES WITHIN. HE IS THE BREATH OF LIFE. FIND YOURSELF AND YOU SHALL FIND GOD. ✝️
My Higher Self. ⚜
Aug 12, 2020, 8:11 PM